Having already wrote the blog post explaining the name of the actual blog ect, here we are with my first proper blogpost. My first opportunity to write until my heart desires. There isn't going to be any particular topic of this post just that I want to have a post to look back on. A personal post in which I can look back on and think about how my life has changed. So where do I stand today? A graduate looking for a job. That would perfectly sum up my situation right now. That is literally it. There really isn't much else going on in life right now. (Maybe sheer boredom was the catalyst to the blog I have wanted to create for so long being created?)
I have always been somebody described as the "quiet" one, going to university slightly changed that aspect of me,although still shy I had a pretty good life at university. Particularly my first year - I look back with such fondness of that year. Second and third year was good too but anxiety definitely took over more in that time. Now three years later, I don't feel excited and I don't feel as though my life has any direction. That's hard especially when you can't see a clear path ahead of you. I don't know what I want to do or be, this means I feel as though my life has been put on halt until I figure it out. Harder than it seems though for me. You could ask me what my dream job was, the ideal job that I wouldn't mind doing forever and I would not be able to tell you what that is. ive never known the answer to that question. I have never had a set career in mind throughout any of my studies. Any subjects I have chose to study in the past, prior to my degree and also my degree I have chose because they are subjects I thought I would enjoy/did/do enjoy. That sounds great but at the end where does that leave you when you haven't then got any idea what to do because you really didn't have anything to work towards except for good grades? I need to figure it out ASAP. Until then I have to find any job to do - you know I kind of need one in life. The reason I talk about university is because I feel envious of the person I was in first year, I remember feeling and thinking to myself at that time how genuinely happy I was. Don't get me wrong I have always been happy its just life was so good then. I had moved somewhere new, met new people, started a degree and was absolutely loving it. I feel as though i have regressed in life, I have now moved back home with no job and not meeting anybody new. My friends from home and my friends from university are all doing such exciting things I feel as though I am the only one stuck in this rut. - I am definitely determined to get out of it, future self if you read this, I hope your happy and loving life. Lets say a somewhat future distant self, its gonna take a lot of work I'm sure. obviously the ball starts rolling now but I would hope in a year I am so much happier and honestly as bad as it sounds I hope my life is different to how it is now.
I don't want it to sound as though I have a terrible life. I really don't I just know I could be so much happier if I were to change a few things.These are them:
Not be unemployed - obvious reasons. its horrible being unemployed I am home all day on my own, I don't think that is good for anybody. When I do socialise with friends it can never be anything too exciting due to lack of funds. Also I love to shop, again need some funds to do that! ahaha
Lost some weight - I haven't been looking after myself in regard to eating/exercise. I feel as though it's quite an easy thing to lost track of when your life has no direction lol. But I need to get on it, I feel better when i eat healthier anyway so once I start it should be easier to continue. I just want to look and feel better than I do now.
Get my own place - I have never experienced living completely on my own and I think it would be something that I would love. I like my space to be my space. I like quiet and I like to do things how I want to do them. That may make me seem hard to live with but rather then being hard to live with I usually just ignore the fact that things are not like this despite how much I would love them to be. This is especially the case at the moment after moving back home. Its not the worst situation to be in but its not the best and something I want to change. This will definitely take time but I am happy for it to be a long term goal right now. Once the first goal has been achieved, I can start saving some money for it anyway!
As you can see these goals are not my major life goals or bucket list goals or anything just some things that will improve my life from what it is like right now. I feel as though if I can achieve these goals I could become a much happier person as my life will start having some movement and purpose again.
So there is a slight look at my life right now and I hope I can look back on this post and say yes I have achieved those three goals and yes I am really happy right now. That is my wish anyway I guess we can only wait and see xoxo
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